Monday, August 31, 2009

I'm So Sick

Song currently listening to: "I'm So Sick" by Flyleaf.

I'm anonymous, and I have a problem. I won't specify what the problem is, but it's pretty common in girls. (and it's not JUST a girl's disease) I know everything ranging from risks to symptoms. I know. But there's a difference between knowing and knowing. I won't deny it, but I'm so sick. Not in the "i have a cold" kind of sick...this kind of sickness is something more intense.

I thought I got rid of it. I thought I could do it alone. No one could know. NO ONE. My parents would hate me, and send me back to where I came from. My whole family could never summon up the courage to look directly into my eyes. My friends wouldn't understand and exlude me. I am a living corpse. I'm playing with death. How did something I hate so much control every moment of my life?

I want help, but I don't know how to. I'm so scared. It tears me in two.

You probably don't understand what I do. I don't expect you to. And I wouldn't be suprised at all if you thought I was a freak.

I'm anonymous, and I want help. I want to get better. But would I be willing to risk it all? I feel like this is a lose/lose situation. I'm never gonna get out...am I?

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My Goals.

  • Get a scholorship!
  • Ace the SATs and other exams.
  • Accomplish community service. 60 hours min.
  • Join at least four clubs each year in high school.
  • Get honor roll or straight a's in high school.
  • Get accepted into my dream college, University of Pennsylvania.
 

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