Downfall.

Shhhh.
Can anyone hear it.
Shhhhhh, I said.
Please,
quiet.
Listen.
Do you hear it?
Don’t move,
just listen..
The heart pounds heavy
the hands grow shaky
the anxiety rips through
her tightening insides.
Can you hear it yet?
Shhh..

She’s helpless
she’s SCREAMING.
It’s so loud,
It echos in her head
pounding off the sides.
Vibrating her pounding heart.
Can’t you hear her?
She’s screaming,
She’s screeching,
She’s reaching,
out for you
our for anyone
anyone to hear her.
LISTEN!
But noone will
noone does
they can’t.
They don’t know how.

Her life is a shallow
schedule of events.
Knowledge of every
food product
she could ever want
or ever reach for.
Always pinching skin,
Mirrors stalk her,
Food haunts her.
Obsessive measures
her waist,
her hips,
her ass.
Obsessive measure
how much food
how less food
when to purge
Obsessive measures
her crunches
her miles ran
her push ups...
She tries so hard to
find the normal life
she plans every detail.
To fit all normalcy
all into one 24 hour day.
She’s so normal
She’s so bright
She’s so pretty
She’s captivating
only in sight.
Only in the right light.
Scared of her identity
she slips away at midnight
before the clock chimes twelve
she hides her fears in
the one thing she absolutely hates
she drowns her tears in melted ice cream
topped with frozen cherries.
She’s so cold.
Indulging in what she thinks
is her one enemy.
Disgusting, repulsive food
shove it in,
how much more.
Shove it in,
hate it,
love it,
eat it.
Disguise the true enemy,
Go on,
Disguise yourself
while you battle yourself.
Go on,
hurt yourself,
kill yourself.
Her mind is numb
Her heart is screaming.
But she has noone to care
She has noone to hear her
while shes screaming so loud.
None can hear it.

A poem by me. And all I can think about when I read this poem, thinking back to th event that lead to write me this poem is, "no, not again."